Shut Up Natalie Portman

I've been watching a lot of movies lately that start out with the basic premise of two unrealistically attractive people deciding to have emotionless sex which each other. In all movies with this plot, the main characters eventually realize they love each other and reveal it in a range of adorable and heart wrenching ways. It's always the guy who wants to have a real relationship first, which I guess is supposed to be comforting to girls who have been in the opposite position in real life. But no, in the movies the girls just don't want to deal with all the stupid hallmarks of a "relationship" like sleeping over and eating breakfast together because its too fake or too hard or they are too mysteriously damaged. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here wishing a guy would tell me my eyes are beautiful or that I would wake up to find myself in someone's arms. People are always trying to console me in my wretched perpetual singleness by reminding me that relationships are hard and a lot of work, that the right guy will come along when he's meant to. But maybe I want to date some jerks, maybe I want to have guy problems to complain about. I remember in Pride and Prejudice Mr.Bennet says something to the effect that being crossed in love is almost as pleasing to girls as having a happy relationship, and I'm inclined to agree with him. I've probably just been watching too many musicals and chick flicks, but the whole loved and lost thing is starting to sound a lot better than my current "super virgin" status. I don't think many romantic regrets could outweigh the regret of never in my life experiencing romance. So this is the part where I resolve to myself to become more outgoing and open and daring when it comes to the opposite sex. Or I could just follow my brother's advice and try internet dating...